Hello you all!<\/p>\n
Again thank you, THANK YOU, for everything that is happening here.\u00a0 Your comments are touching me and make me think.\u00a0 Sometimes I make mistakes, I think again etc. (isn\u2019t it Michelle<\/a>?Super!)\u00a0 It\u2019s incredibly rich\u2026 Thank you!<\/p>\n This is a post that I have been trying to write for a very long time (yes like many of my posts.)\u00a0 We started tackling it with respect to beauty and cosmetics<\/a>, but I have advanced another step lately.<\/p>\n Yes, there\u2019s been this photo on IG, showcasing me without makeup, because I’ve stopped wearing any for a few months.\u00a0 It\u2019s not final, neither militant, I still like makeup a lot, but as usual I like to listen to myself and this time I don\u2019t feel the need.<\/strong><\/p>\n There was also this deep questioning about the fashion world and a conversation I had with Geraldine Dormoy<\/a> about how sometimes this high fashion world caused unwanted feelings within her.\u00a0 Why is there so much wickedness in this world which is suppose to create beauty?<\/strong><\/p>\n There was also, about 2 years ago (yes it goes back far), the comment from someone close \u201cthis blog, it\u2019s great and all is great, but it will never replace the love I never gave you.\u201d\u00a0 And Bam.\u00a0 It was tough but at the same time so correct.\u00a0 Thank you again.<\/p>\n So yes, there was a whole cluster of questions, of wishes, about beauty, about things that should have a space, a fate and are taking a whole other one\u2026 why?<\/strong><\/p>\n Words spawned from a conversation with my naturopath.\u00a0 She works with Bach flowers (about the power and the memory of flowers) so right there we are at some next level shit<\/strong> and I can\u2019t encourage you to do it so much that I don\u2019t even know myself if it works \u201cin general.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s just that having conversations with this woman are making me do great forward leaps every time.\u00a0 Therefore I visit her from time to time when I have issues that I can\u2019t resolve alone.<\/p>\n In short we get to the tail end of a session where I dropped it all on the table, my recent changes (you know most of them), my troublesome relation with money, to my health, the rivers<\/a>\u2026 and she tells me:<\/p>\n “Consequently if I summarize it, you are functioning like this, this and that\u2026 and then this and this happened with your family.\u00a0 Between those events, there is an exile, a loss of landmark, of roots, and we can admittedly say \u201clots of suffering\u201d and therefore a longing to fix it all.\u00a0 So you are looking for beauty\u2026 is that it ?!<\/strong><\/p>\n -\u2026 (Weeping coming)<\/p>\n – But this so called beauty that you wear with makeup or clothing, all this \u201cwearable\u201d beauty, with these\u00a0codes that are not necessarily yours\u2026<\/p>\n In short all that you invest on the surface, does not fix, can\u2019t repair what is deep inside<\/strong>.\u00a0 What you are doing on one end doesn\u2019t do anything on the other.\u00a0 Do we agree?<\/p>\n And if you aren\u2019t wearing makeup anymore or stopped filming people doing this ritual and explore more their intimacy<\/a>, it certainly is because you have unconsciously understood it already.”<\/p>\n Oh whaaaa\u2026 THANK YOU, THANK YOUOUOUOU! I have had already understood this need to repair, while observing myself and so many people around me who are obsessed with this “surface” beauty. I have had already understood the deep woods, notably narcissique ones, woods of ones’ image. Though, i never understood, neither it was coming from so far, nor… it would not repair anything. I mean deeply. And since it does not repair anything, and\u00a0that I did not know\u00a0it, I could keep going on and on and on… without being saved.<\/p>\n All this to tell you that sometimes the desires that animate ourselves in a crazy powerful way, too powerful, are hints of another desire, another grief, another need.\u00a0 <\/strong>And as my mum says \u201cnothing replaces nothing.\u201d\u00a0 Therefore beauty is vital, yes, but it\u2019s nice when it has it\u2019s rightful spot, not when it generates a self-destructing desire (ok yes lets accept these 400 new video contracts even though you are exhausted\u2026 it\u2019s a must), not when it generates a perpetual frustration (I must have this \u20ac4000 jacket, absolutely must have it, I will be so pretty with it, you can\u2019t understand\u2026) or even feed falling out of love with yourself (I would be so much prettier if I lost 12kilos, 2 ribs and a few wrinkles, wouldn\u2019t I?) etc.<\/p>\n So I am not saying that I no longer care about colors and beautiful clothes\u2026 and I thank this kind of beauty to lead so far into myself.\u00a0But with fewer holes in my pocket and good health, I will really be able to say that I know how \u201cto take care of myself.\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, yes.\u00a0 I still would love to inhabit myself completely, from deep down to the very surface and why not help others to reconnect it all just like with Melissa<\/a>. It\u2019s just that I don\u2019t feel the excitement around those desires anymore, I no longer have this \u201cI must have it\u201d frenzied state.\u00a0 And I swear.\u00a0 It\u2019s amazing!\u00a0 Let\u2019s invest in psychoanalyst (so much less expansive than a \u20ac4000 jacket) and self love.\u00a0 With or without flowers\u2026 no matter the path.<\/p>\n Come on, love to you all!\u00a0 And thank you again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Hello you all! Again thank you, THANK YOU, for everything that is happening here.\u00a0 Your comments are touching me and make me think.\u00a0 Sometimes I make mistakes, I think again etc. (isn\u2019t it Michelle?Super!)\u00a0 It\u2019s incredibly rich\u2026 Thank you! This is a post that I have been trying to write for a very long time … Continue reading Beauty will not save me<\/span>