{"id":23806,"date":"2017-01-11T04:00:30","date_gmt":"2017-01-11T03:00:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.maihua.fr\/en\/?p=23806"},"modified":"2017-01-11T09:19:54","modified_gmt":"2017-01-11T08:19:54","slug":"my-anti-stress-program","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archives.maihua.fr\/en\/2017\/01\/my-anti-stress-program\/","title":{"rendered":"My Anti-Stress Program"},"content":{"rendered":"

T\u00e2m means the heart. So here is a Heart sent into the air!<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Hey Ho… Ho Ho!<\/p>\n

How are you lovely readers? It seems that I haven\u2019t come here since a while wow \u2026 3 weeks?!\u2026 really? yesss! wow so let\u2019s wish \u00ab\u00a0welcome back\u00a0\u00bb then! welcome back!<\/span><\/p>\n

So during these 3 weeks I saw a lot of posts about 2016 in review and this got me thinking of mine. So, as I was in my mid December little crash<\/a>, I saw more than simply a panorama<\/strong> of this \u00ab\u00a02016, crappy year\u00a0\u00bb. Because during this year I met an extra-ordinary man, I had incredible experiences that\u00a0changed my way of seeing, thinking, creating and how I love. I continue to make bonds of love with my kids, family, friends and, of course, each of you. These relationships aren\u2019t simple but they seem to be completely authentic (very difficult for an ex top of the class like me. For whom to love or to be loved has always rimed with \u00ab\u00a0doing well\u00a0\u00bb, and not necessarily with \u00ab\u00a0being true\u00a0\u00bb)(this will be the subject of another post). It seems to me that I\u2019d never been surrounded by so much love or people who seem so exceptional for me. This last year has shattered my life and not only in the wrong direction. But rather, deeply and durably in the right way. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

This year also confronted me to my own limits. And the most important one for me is the way I manage my stress. A tiny burn out during the summer, plus a small crash during the winter, it\u2019s truly too much! So, since a month, I set up a very simple anti stress program et if this can help some else, GO!<\/span><\/p>\n

In the preamble, I learnt during my MBRS stage<\/a> (yes always available, by now!) to distinguish the stressor (outside) and the stress (produced and so times, felt by each of us)<\/strong>. so the ceaseless noise of a car could create a stress for one and not for the other. Which leads us to conclude that we all have our own stress activator buttons. But above all, each of us has his or her own manner to\u00a0 <\/span>manage the flow of stress information, transforming or not, the stressor into stress. So it\u2019s very important for everyone to understand if the stressor \u00ab\u00a0the incessant noise of a car\u00a0\u00bb is active or not for him or her. And in case to readapt to be able to stop developing stress. You follow me ? so here is a part of your own job.<\/span><\/p>\n

Personally I detected 3 major stressors :<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

1.<\/span> I live several lives<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

eh yeah, I have several jobs, plenty (a lot!) of clients, my blog that I maintain since \u2026 the beginning but especially since September, with more and more reactions, comments from all of you (MANY THANX!!!!!!). I have several kids, an ex-husband, friends, a joint custody in Paris, my man in London\u2026 it\u2019s\u2026 wow! I don\u2019t complain and have a propensity for hyperactivity, not so much stressful\u00a0 <\/span>for me but right now I\u2019m reaching my own limits. So I had to admit and to re-adapt all these parts of my life to bring them back to their right place, with this constraint that there are all vital! (what a F\u2026 we\u2019re in a big mess).<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s the reason why it took me so much time to write again on my blog. I need to think. This doesn\u2019t mean I’m no longer interested in it. On the contrary, I want to continue but in a sustainable way if not I will explode (again).<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

2.\u00a0I’m addict<\/strong><\/p>\n

It was hard to say it to myself but reading a lot of articles on the subject, in particular Geraldine\u2019s one<\/a>, and also the one she relayed about the way they conceive our addiction in The Silicon Valley<\/a> (this made me completely sick), I had to realize that I\u2019m totally addict to my smartphone\u2026 MAJOR LOL<\/strong> in front of the level+++ of my denial. Once past the lol, you\u2019re realize how much this is ugly. because in plus of this ceaseless noise, as all kind of addiction, this one could ruin my\u00a0relationships with the ones I care for. in particular my kids. So when I realize that 2 main ones were Facebook and Instagram I decided to delete Facebook app from my phone and to reduce the people I follow on IG (less news to see). It was pretty hard during the 2 first weeks, because I love FB. I never saw so much interesting articles, discovered so many amazing artists or sublime videos, or just had so beautiful exchanges. But, too much interest kills the interest. It was too much! so, FB is only on my computer now, and that\u2019s just enough. So this is the reason why I won\u2019t share so many *mai share etc* in the future : this bothers me and is a part of my noisy stress.<\/span><\/p>\n

To be disconnected from the unceasing news, gives me more time (a more efficient brain) it\u2019s incredible. In a way I\u2019m less informed but I\u2019m infinitely more \u00ab\u00a0aware\u00a0\u00bb as Jean-Claude\u00a0 <\/span>will say!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

3.\u00a0I would like that everything goes right<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Well yeh, naturally I felt \u00ab\u00a0a bit\u00a0\u00bb stressed during this crappy year.<\/span><\/p>\n

On a personal note, we talked about authenticity above, this year led me to change and this changed my relationships. The lines had moved, so now some of my relationships are more peaceful and some others\u2026 are being less. So I had to handle more conflicts<\/strong>. For me who truly hate this (jerry talks about \u00ab\u00a0anger-phobia\u00a0\u00bb). To be more authentic, or at least trying to be, led me to express things that I didn\u2019t allow in the past (not to offend\/ because it\u2019s impossible\/ well most of all because this is pretty scary etc\u2026). We will talk<\/span>\u00a0further, but for me it\u2019s much more complex : to disagree, admit that we disagree (war with yourself), to express our disagreement (conflict with the other). And this with caring as much as possible (when it is possible),\u00a0 <\/span>because I won\u2019t change the values I care for. It\u2019s so complex!<\/span><\/p>\n

We will come back to this too… So complex!\u00a0So, I\u2019m learning, it’s happening. I learn particularly that a relationship without conflicts is not necessarily a good relationship<\/strong>. Now the idea of conflict is less painful for me, it\u2019s still stressful but a little less and for a little less time.<\/span><\/p>\n

As a result, we should take life, others, feelings as they come and not necessarily as we would like they are. BUT while listening our own feelings BUT without letting ourself overwhelmed by our negative emotions, it\u2019s a long way for me (and to speak about represents a hard start ). but that\u2019s the way I choose.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

I also went back to dance and meditation, always at HeadSpace<\/a>. I realized that I hadn\u2019t meditate since September! (eh yeah of course!) 10 minutes instead of 20. This is\u00a0very easy despite my busy days and sometimes I even can do it twice a day (which is better than 20 minutes every 2 weeks!). It\u2019s pretty damn\u00a0good! I\u2019m practising\u00a0like this since a month and I will probably continue!<\/span><\/p>\n

Here we go. For those who follow me since a while, you already know that the Vietnamese New year is more important for me (January 28, this year), but whatever Happy New Year and my best wishes for\u00a02017. \u00a0Wish you light, love and maybe … a little less stress \u00a0;p<\/p>\n

It may sound obvious but it isn’t. Because all this restored energy is life, light and love to spread all over<\/strong>.<\/strong>\u00a0qed no? I hope this\u00a0post could help you!<\/p>\n

Love and kisses!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

T\u00e2m means the heart. So here is a Heart sent into the air! Hey Ho… Ho Ho! How are you lovely readers? It seems that I haven\u2019t come here since a while wow \u2026 3 weeks?!\u2026 really? yesss! wow so let\u2019s wish \u00ab\u00a0welcome back\u00a0\u00bb then! welcome back! So during these 3 weeks I saw a … Continue reading My Anti-Stress Program<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":23801,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1169,1177,1168],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23806","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-diary-en","category-mai-journey","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/archives.maihua.fr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23806","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/archives.maihua.fr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/archives.maihua.fr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archives.maihua.fr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archives.maihua.fr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23806"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/archives.maihua.fr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23806\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23827,"href":"https:\/\/archives.maihua.fr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23806\/revisions\/23827"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archives.maihua.fr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/23801"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/archives.maihua.fr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23806"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archives.maihua.fr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23806"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archives.maihua.fr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23806"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}